My Inner Being Is at the Movies
Your inner being and your human self are intimately connected. “But how?”, I get asked often. “I am suffering. I don’t feel my inner being. Where is it and how can it help me anyway?”
The inner being is part of Source, God, the Creators, whatever you want to call it and it is the energy, the presence that is the real you. Your inner being’s purpose is to experience all aspects of Source’s creation: it wants to experience what it’s like to be human – to love, to lose, to feel joy and pain, to create, to suffer, to deteriorate physically, and to extinguish. Because your inner being is infinitely powerful, invincible, and eternal, it is never afraid, insecure, or disappointed, and it’s always thrilled with all aspects of the human experience. Its point of view on you is that you are perfect in all your unique traits, you are complete, and you are worthy. After all, you are part of the Divine that created all of this in the first place. You are the universe…
As you go through life worrying about making mistakes, getting it wrong, being off your path, holding on to regrets, and criticizing yourself for how you look, act, or what you’ve not achieved, your inner being disagrees with your perspective. How do you know it’s disagreeing with you? Because whenever you think a thought that produces negative emotion, e.i. “Ugh, I’ve gained weight and I am ugly”, or “How come my friends are all married and I’m not, what’s wrong with me?”, the contrast between negative emotion and the state of absolute well-being is a sign from your inner being that it disagrees. It may sound like a new concept, but intuitively, don’t we all know that when we feel bad, something is not how it should be and we long to understand why so that we can get it sorted and go back to feeling better? That’s because we all know that we are meant to feel good, and our inner being is our guide in that pursuit.
Recently, I sat down to meditate, feeling somewhat discombobulated by a few of the usual challenges in my life: not enough of this, too much of that, falling short of my own expectations, afraid I’d said the wrong thing to someone, not moving toward something I want fast enough… In other words, the usual nonsense. Thinking and believing those thoughts made me frustrated, anxious, dissatisfied, and unsettled.
And then, after sitting quietly for a little while with attention focused on my breathing, my heartbeat, and the flow of my energy, an image came to me: my inner being was sitting in the most luxurious, comfortable movie theater, watching me create an Oscar-worthy thriller/drama/comedy film that I call “my life”.
And while I was feeling wobbly about what I was creating, it was just tickled to death watching and experiencing it all unfold, munching on the most delicious caramel popcorn with big chocolate chunks in it, “Oooooh, had a disagreement with someone, Katya? That’s just right, how interesting! Let’s see what lesson comes from that. Felt thrilled and satisfied with work yesterday but then went into resistance and thought what you hadn’t done enough of? Incredible, how does the contrast between satisfaction and self-criticism feel? Despondent about New England weather, blaming it for how you feel because it makes it harder to focus positively? Mesmerizing, what an opportunity to practice focus!” So, I decided to take a seat in the theater together with my inner being, get comfortable in a huge reclining chair next to it, and have some popcorn too. And my inner being said with such love and sparkle, “Enjoy being a messy human!” And at that moment, everything was so clear and serene, and suddenly, I had no problems, no fears, and no concerns. I just felt the thrill of being here and now, creating and expanding, trying things on for size, and enjoying it all with peace and gratitude.
So, whenever you are feeling negative emotion, just remember that it’s nothing more than your inner being saying to you, “What you are thinking right now isn’t true but here is what is: I am here, I love you, I will always support you and guide you toward everything you are wanting. You are never alone, there is nothing to fear, and you are worthy and complete. All is well and it is always working out. Just have a seat and have some popcorn and let’s watch how interesting this all is….”
Go ahead, take a seat in the movie theater and enjoy being a messy human!